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April 2020
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18Saturday Thoughts in Quarantine


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Saturday Thoughts in Quarantine
April 18, 2020

Saturday

I just looked at the clock, and it's a little before 11:00am. It feels much later than that. On a Saturday, that's a GREAT thing.

I'm alone upstairs. I came up here to clean up the craft/toy/office room some. You'd think that since I work up here, it would be the most organized space in the house, but lately it's been hard to even squeeze in a bio break during work. And, of course, there is the hurricane Ruthie factor. *sighs* I realize though, as I sit here, this past hour has been the most "me" time that I've had in ages. When all this quarantining stuff started, there were a thousand memes about how this is what introverts have been training for. But what I've found is that just because I'm not leaving the house & outwardly interacting with people, the fact that we're all here, all day, every day means I struggle for any quiet, alone time. Ruthie, at age 8, is extroverted. She needs to be around someone. All. The. Time. And normally I don't mind it, but my cup is empty. I've found myself staying up later and later just for a few precious minutes of alone time after they've gone to bed. I'm not even doing anything. Literally, I sit on the couch by myself and soak in the silence. I'm exhausted the next morning but come bed time I do it again.

I wish I better understood the "big picture" of what is going on. I look at maps, like on Infection2020.com and see where my state is red (bad). I zoom in on my county, and it too is red. So I think no way am I going out for groceries right now. Hell, it feels risky walking around the block! But then when I click on the statistics, 1 out of 971 people are infected here. That comes to 0.1%. And I think OMG WHY(???) are we doing all this for 0.1%? The rational part of my brain knows the numbers can't fully show the big picture. There are likely loads of people out there that are infected & not reporting. But that also then affects the overall mortality rate, making it much lower. So I'm back to WHY. Brad thinks it's 100% political, caused by all the Trump-haters trying to bring him down. And if this were localized to the US, then I'd agree with him. We do have a lot of 'cutting your nose off to spite your face' politics. But since this is more global, I'm not willing to buy that theory as the only one. Still, it feels like something bigger than Covid-19 is going on. I wish I knew what. I'm Facebook friends with the mom of Ruthie's bff, and she is a total conspiracy theorist intent on "waking" the population. Some of the theories are interesting and some are scary, and for many of them I just cannot wrap my head around them. So I'm back to I dunno. I guess I continue on as I have been, controlling what I can and considering that a win - realizing that I may never know the WHY.

I'm officially tired of jigsaw puzzles. The 2000 piece one on my table will likely go back in its box. (Not quite ready to call it quits, but also haven't touched it in days.) Ruthie & I have been working our way through my stash of Paper Pumpkin subscriptions. I've created a little addict. She asks about them all day long, and it was the first thing she mentioned when she woke up this morning. LOL I'm not sad about that - I'd much rather she craft than watch TV. She has a creative soul. I love teaching her new techniques & then see her use them in ways I never would have imagined. It's one of her gifts.

In an effort to continue supporting small businesses, I ordered a 4-pack of caramel apples from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. They are being delivered this afternoon, and I cannot wait! I love how creative some small businesses have become to keep their businesses going. I don't envy their struggles, but I totally admire their resolve.
 
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