|The talk with the boss|
October 24, 2020
I continue to put in 2 hours a day studying for this test. I hate this very much. I finally had a 1X1 with my boss. I showed my vulnerability, I cried. I hate that. He was so supportive - *Christina* I've known you for 10 years and look at all you have accomplished. You have accomplished more in those 10 years than 95% of the people at this company that has taken and passed that test. Take it again - if you fail, take it again.
It was a relief. I forget how much I love my boss. I forget how much I've learned from him. And I get to work with my other one again as of 11/30. It's like the band is back together. I'm fortunate, I know this. Not many find such supportive people to groom their careers. Folks who you can break down and share your biggest ego fears of not being wanted or *good enough*.
I vow always to be that boss, this is the legacy these men have left me with.
I am procrastinating on my study for this test. I spent time rereading earlier entries in this journal. There are days where I can't believe the changes my life has undergone. A few weeks ago my mom and Aunt came and stayed for a week. I worked, they toiled around San Antonio. It was fun. My Aunt remarked that I don't seem happy. I never really just relax or cut up. I'm reserved and quiet. Yes, I've grown that way. Sometimes it's fear out of the fact that I feel like an imposter in my life. She asked me if the best decision I ever made was marrying Mike. I very directly stated, no, the best decision I have ever made is moving to San Antonio and taking a chance, taking a risk. My success is based on my work ethic, my drive and I will never believe it's because I choose to marry a man. We partner well together. My success is because of me, not a man. My mother simply said - 'good girl'.