|Not sure what today is...|
April 14, 2019
After milling about for most of the morning, we went for a walk. The weather was not as great as yesterday, but it was still a nice morning.
Then, we went to the store to pick up what we forgot to get yesterday.
Came home, did laundry and gathered things for the cat shelter's yard sale that they are having later this month.
It started raining this afternoon and is supposed to rain all night and into tomorrow.
At some point, I started crying. I felt like a waste of air and space. All because I thought that Tracy was upset with me about something. I thought that I was asking stupid questions over and over as if I hadn't asked them before. That all I do is frustrate and annoy him, and yet he still loves me.
I felt like walking away... to walk as far as I could before I came to my senses. I don't know where I'd go or who I'd reach out to, but I just felt like I had to get away from whatever was making me cry and feeling that way.
But instead of putting on my shoes and going out, I came on here and started writing. I guess it helped. I feel a little better.
I think it's this apartment. The energy or something is not good. Moving could help, but moving is also stressful. Things might be tense for a while, but I hope we survive.
So, we're seriously looking now. Whether it's our own place or a different apartment, I am hoping that we'll be out of here before the end of the year. If not, maybe we can find some kind of positive energy for this place... to make it at least tolerable to live in.
Anyway, I don't know what we're doing tonight, but I'm sure we'll think of something. I hope you've had a good weekend.