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Self-lixiviated by Zombalaya
November 2021

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November 8, 2021

Beginning to notice this look on the faces of people that seem to be in the 20-30 yr-old demographic. It is a look of disbelief.

Also noticing some phrasing being used these days. "Thought control" has been changed to "Thought Leadership."

We don't need no education. We don't need no Thought Leadership.

Other observations:

I bought some more of those shoe inserts and gave one to my dad and one to my brother yesterday. We "hung out" for about an hour over at my dad's yesterday afternoon.
My brother resents me for not continuing to work, but whatever. I am not working unless I absolutely have to, at least at some thing or other that I don't want or have to. I have options now, and through a combination of dumb luck, persistence, stubborness, anger and probably fate - I have temporarily escaped part of the "rat race."
I think he also realizes that no one in our family likes his wife, and he can't be the only one! Ha-ha. Whatever.

What pissed me off the most yesterday was some flippant comment he made that I was "privileged." That word is now weaponized, apparently. It surely set me off. So I had to dig down deep and throw some vinegar at him, about how I was the one that took it upon myself those years ago to put on a uniform and possibly have to take a bullet, all so he could sit on his ass and play video games, talk about cheese curls and watch South Park. Fucking jackass.
And I am going to dig that nail into his ribs every chance I get now. As for a comeback to the "privileged" snipe, all I would have to do to piss him (and his wife, because it would surely get back to her) off is that some people are just smarter than other people, and that "privilege" has nothing to do with it.

When I was at the discount store on Saturday I had to wait as two lines fought their way through customers. The line I initially in was being commandeered by an old hand, and she was working over the young couple that had brought their small children along for the ride. Email address, phone numbers, etc., all given out freely within earshot. Fuck that, I got out of that line and went to the other one, where there was a scared girl running from god knows what. And I felt incredibly sorry for her. I could not see a happy future on her horizon, anywhere. Seemed like she was in her early twenties, but working that register in that store in that part of town at this time in history... I could only see darkness happening.

Then I went to the head shop and bought some new gummies that they have, ones with THC-O as part of their make-up. Hrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I also bought a cheese pizza, which is not something I normally do. I think it has been a good 8-12 months since I have had a pizza of any sort.
The cashier there made me laugh, for whatever reason. Not completely out-loud, but enough to where I said something to her about it. Something like "I don't know what it is, but I just want to laugh out loud about something," and she said that she had felt that way earlier in the day and had just done it and people had looked at her like she was crazy. Too young and too skinny for me, but I liked her spirit. Now I just have to find one like that who is my age.

I wonder if the drugs here are just getting stronger or what, now. Even after eating half of the pizza I started getting really strong visuals behind my eyes as I reclined in muh chair.

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