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Amanda22Jane. by Miss Integrity
 
December 2021
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The Healing Power Of Cinema.
December 20, 2021

The Revenant, Drift, The Sapphires (again) and a charming, sweet Christmas movie. Also watched How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

Anybody can tell a story. But not everyone can tell a story well. This is why I love film.

Day Six :

Been a busy year of change and no change.
A year of growth. A year of stalling. A year of climbing out of some of the holes I've dug for myself and start filling the fuckers in.
And not all the dirt belongs to me. Every time I collide with someone, their shit and mine lowers me in the holes a little deeper. EVERY time. I'm learning not to come in on the other end of somebody else's maladjustment. So painful. (Excruciating at the best of times.) I've had enough of the pain.
(Grow) or getting rapidly involved in emotional entanglement with others. (AA)
It's been another deeply rutted year and a small but vitally enlightening step to freedom. Admitting complete defeat. I'm becoming less broken. And this is a life saving awareness that I am incredibly grateful for.
I've sliced some humble pie this year and eaten the fuckers. Not an easy concept spiritually to digest. Nobody and I mean NOBODY is going to take my dignity and integrity away from me.
The pain of change. You have no idea. None whatsoever.


I feel... different. In a whole new good way.


I'm not doing any voluntary work atm.
Got the form delivered to the complex manager and while I was there I watered the gardens and realised how much I miss working. Felt amazing afterwards. It's wonderful to help out.
I'm grateful that the public and I have finally come to an understanding. My prayers have been answered. Thankyou for leaving me alone. Your respect for me is never lost. It's exactly what I need from you and I willingly and graciously and humbly return it to each of you ten fold.

I may be on my own for Christmas. I'm very much okay with that.



 
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