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Amanda22Jane. by Miss Integrity
December 2021

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Tea Towel On My Shoulder, Glasses Atop My Head.
December 19, 2021

And the seven day countdown to Christmas Day hopping down the stairs of each day.

Day Seven :

Often, and I mean often, I have gone looking frantically for something small yet important to no avail, coupled with vexed frustration, cussing, blaming and accusing others.
(Yes I know I'm crazy.)
Less often than not, the search is accompanied by sheer bewilderment and marveling as to where something I had a few moments ago just simply disappears into thin air! Only to realize moments after calming myself down, that the tea towel is on my shoulder and my glasses are on top of my head. (Fuck me sideways.)

Today, I got up off my bed, walked to the door and unlocked it. Opened the door and walked down the ramp to scout around the complex for Sandy cat.

(Yes I had my pyjamas on but I didn't give a f**k. At least I had clothes on. No one saw me anyway.)

I needed to find the cat. Then and there. My heart started to drop and I dragged my sorry ass back inside only to discover Sandy curled up asleep at the foot of the bed. He got grumpy when I smothered his head and face with kisses. I honestly didn't FEEL him next to my feet. I was that faraway in my own world.

Note to self : keep yourself tethered to reality please.

I'm not an easy person to live with that's why I'm living alone.

13:26p as I write here...well it was when I started. Now it's 13:42p.

A better day today. Than yesterday i.e. Too much amitriptyline causes depression bouts. That's what I had yesterday. Not severe, nowhere near. (Glad of that.) It helped tremendously to end yesterday with a gratitude and blessings list. No more amitriptyline until later this week. I needed it for the pain of surgical healing.

Well I don't want to do much today but do a few things I will. Zero motivation so it's a push to achieve what simple tasks I can : Shower and dress. Hair needs washing. Do the dishes. I love having a nice clean sink. Fold the clean laundry and put it away. But first I need to reorganise my personal clothing shelf or none of the recent stuff will fit in it. Water the gardens. Feed the cat people. Cook dinner. Meeting. That will do.

Here's New Zealand's Traffic Light system.


Quotes from the fold out sheet pamphlet :

Title ~ "Taking care of each other at Red, Orange and Green."

"Services for basic needs like supermarkets, pharmacies and public transport are open across every setting with or without My Vaccine Pass."

Then the traffic light symbols of red, orange and green are arranged vertically down the left margin of the fold out with each of three sections explained clearly and simply :

Section One ~ "Life at Red, Orange or Green."

Section Two ~ "My Vaccine Pass allows you to go to the following*"

(* up to 100 people explained here.)

Section Three ~ "Without My Vaccine Pass, there are restrictions that apply."

The flipside of the foldout explains the transition from Alert Levels to The Traffic Lights, gives an impressive list of the language translations The Traffic Lights is available in and how to keep each other safe.

I'm remaining steadfast with the positives. Of course there's always errant behaviour and I'm not perfect either. Prolonged periods with a face covering is causing anxiety and an almost overwhelming feeling of suffocation. Yet? I'm alive and well. So.....

Bloody hell!! Neighbour is mowing the fucking lawns!! He did them two days ago!! They don't fucking need mowing!!
Time to put my headphones on...
All I want for Christmas is some fucken PEACE AND QUIET!!

And my granddaughter visiting for the holidays would be the best Christmas gift EVER. This brilliant young lady will be off to university soon. How time flies. She may even attend the ones me and my sisters did! Never know...

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