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Amanda22Jane. by Miss Integrity
December 2021

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I'm Sorry About Yesterday....
December 9, 2021

...I was angry with my neighbour. That's why I say all those mean, horrible, nasty things about people who hurt me and fuck me right off.

This is what she said about Huckleberry : there's too many things wrong with him, he needs to be put down. She put her own cat Felix down because he was drinking artist paint water. (She needs putting down.)

Anyway...trying hard not to cry too much. In hospital on a hospital bed with white knee~high compression stockings on with hospital grade ankle
socks over the top. They're festive red.
The Christmas decorations hanging along the corridor are just beautiful.
Got my hospital gowns on now : one frontwards / other backwards.
Just freaking out. Only got two hours sleep and I don't care. Just freaking out all night about surgery, my cats, granddaughter etc., amongst other things.
I'm so incredibly grateful that I live in a country where hospital care is free. It's paid for in different ways but mainly tax dollars. (I think. Educated assumption only.)
Now that I'm older, I always think that I'm going to die when I come to visit hospital this way. I tell the staff that through my tears and they always reassure me that I will be fine.

Stop smoking, lose weight, exercise, good food.
Stop smoking, lose weight, exercise, good food.

My attending anaesthetist mentioned vaping, so....looks like this is the new sensible plan. Don't judge or diss me please you churchy people. I'm the addict here, not you.

I'm one bed back from the OT's (operating theatres).

I've been blessed with a wonderful team. I am blessed immeasurably.

I worked hard to get here. Wednesday was incredibly busy.
Eyes are swollen and red from prolonged crying but I don't care. I feel good where it counts most : on the inside. The hardest place to clean up.

Quit smoking, lose weight, exercise, good food.

11:16 a.m. Thursday morning. Been up since five thirty, got everything done because I may be away from home and my beloved cats tonight. Plenty of food left out, cat proofed house, ran/walked to the bus stop on the other side of the central business district,...made it. Due for surgery at lunchtime.

What's getting me through the wait : writing here, deep breathing, colouring, music. Hospital has free wifi.

Sparkles is a wonderful mummy. Her baby girl is so beautiful. I will let you know her (baby's) name : Maia. I just love her so much. She has a cute and cheeky grin. Gorgeous.

I like being in hospital. Love it in fact. Just not the pain. None of it.

This is the day surgery annexe in one of the best hospitals in the southern hemisphere. It's true.
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