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Amanda22Jane. by Miss Integrity
November 2021

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As November Closes Its Doors.
November 29, 2021

I'll be glad that the month is over tomorrow.

Summer is here in all it's heat and finery. Pleased about this. It's going to be a good Summer because I intend to make it so, starting from now...

Started a little in-house, home-based rehab. Friday. This is day 4. It's working. Fully detoxed already from ethanol. Just the weed left which takes six weeks. Six months on, no drug will be present in my body. The cigarettes need to go. No matter what. I'm getting far too old for this shit.

Moving on...

Up to season 7 of MOM ~ (NF). THE most important series I have ever viewed. EVER viewed.
This was my rehab day today watching 46 episodes. I laughed, cried, and gave myself permission to be taught.

Spending a lot of time inside my home. I venture outside to collect my cats and keep an eye on them, water my gardens and get laundry dried. This is NOT the kind of neighbourhood where social safety is cultivated. Not for me anyway... .
I'm good with that.

Started The Queen's Gambit again. Did a first viewing earlier on in the year, then an encore viewing and now a third. Repetitive viewing helps solidify certain aspects of filmmaking especially when the product is nothing less than exquisite. I learn so much from repetition. Of good things. Filmmaking and television is a pleasing work and joy to me.

I don't need to get life perfect. Progress is perfection and progress is messy.

I'm having to beef up my security when locking myself in at night. Predators are unpredictable in their predictability only for one reason : they think they're smarter than the average person. I don't fucken think so. God's got this.

It's been a good day. A very good day. Not an easy day altogether but good nonetheless.

I cooked enough food Sunday to last through till I get paid on Wednesday.

One Christmas card only to make this year. It's for a mens' group who help our community. They did an incredible job of mending our wood tea trolley that we use for our fortnightly village morning teas. We've had no further morning teas since early August due to the pandemic. I continue to keep the communal lounge clean and tidy. (The odd soul uses it and leaves a mess.)
I've chucked in my voluntary position with this organization I rent from. They don't deserve me. I don't give a fuck what any reader thinks of that last statement because it's one thing to serve and quite another to be used and unappreciated. I do not possess the resilience for that bullshit.

I'll continue to help others and the same applies. I need to look after myself a lot better. Way better...

I hope and pray that I am blessed with the money to get my other journals here printed.

Quiet exits are something I need to practice.

In closing : I didn't realize that gratitude applies to the past as well as the present and future.

I'm grateful to be able to live in the day today.

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