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Amanda22Jane. by Miss Integrity
November 2021

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I Plan, And I Plan.
November 3, 2021

09:54 a.m. Akld.,NZTime.
I'm not being realistic with my planning. Doing the same thing differently and with a certain amount of maturity is quite daunting from where I see it. I'm cannot and do not want to keep be~wailing the messy side of progress.
There are not many bites taken from the elephant so far. At least that much I can see. I KNOW what I am capable of. I know it. I fucking KNOW IT.

10:04 a.m. Just need to take a phonecall from Australia....b back....

13:04P, Akld.,NZTime.

Cried and cried to my sister on the phone. Cried because I want to be busy living, but my body tells me otherwise.
Laid in bed with both cats sleeping on top of me while we talked.
Feel better now.

Put my long coat on over my pyjamas, got my shopping bags and other things together in my satchel and off I went to shop for food. Always a great feeling to have the cat babies food replenished. Always. My food too.

Yoga went well last night. Taking it real easy. Felt better. Now I know why yogic breathing exists.
Yet to get in a walk today : Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. That's a fortnight walking schedule. It's got everything to do with rolling with the punches of pain. Those days take longer. Just a half circuit this body feels weird. Plus it's blowing a gale out there.

I lost my beautiful umbrella about a month ago. It's a black golf umbrella with the words 'New Zealand' in bold Garamond white lettering around the edges, in three separate places. Whoever's got it now, I hope that you enjoy it just as much as I did. I'm hopeless with umbrellas. Miraculously I owned it for 7 months and it must be a record.

Thunderstorm season is upon us, (why I mentioned the umbrella) and there is a new front door lock to save up for. I've no spare change to buy an umbrella. I do have a shower~proof hooded jacket. Should take 3 weeks to afford the new lock ($70) plus a good quality driver with which to attach it to the door. So I'm umbrella~less until Summertime. Never mind.

It's just that these things cause anxiety. If I write them down problem halved.

Installing it myself. I TRUST NOBODY ELSE TO GET INVOLVED. Nobody. And ALL the keys remain with me. Need to back up this security situation; ramp it up.

Things are on the move here...local. Shops are open again. Click and collect will still be around for quite some time. Hopefully by Christmas we will see the country's commerce and industry resume fully with some pretty much permanent or semi-permanent restrictions.

Experiencing some withdrawal symptoms due to addictive news watching. Feel okay. There's no 12~step program for news addicts in NZ. Maybe online? Don't know. Been having little mini meetings with myself. Lot of urges.
Still smoking. Way less.

The information about the surgical procedures coming up arrived in the mailbox. Saw the letter sticking out of the mailbox on my way back from the supermarket. It's good to have. Even though Sarah explained the procedures thoroughly and I understand what everything meant I have since forgotten. Much more relaxed about this now. Hopefully this is my last trip to the hospital for a while.

Now I'm back in bed with my cats.
Enjoying Netflix. Always something to watch there, learn about and just be entertained. A lot of shows and movies I choose are difficult for me to sit through. The messages contained within each narrative is so healing.

☆The Pianist ~Roman Polanski. (Dir)
☆Blindspot. Six more episodes to watch and I'm done with all one hundred episodes. It's brilliant.

And many more.

Spend a fair bit of time on YT and TVNZ app. ☆Country Calendar. I love this show.

I must pick up and put down my electronic devices at least 20 times per day, if not more. I intentionally disrupt my present day viewing time for the majority, because I can't afford to let life revolve around it. Viewing time INSTEAD revolves around life. Just a personal mandate that I'm sharing. Not intended to upset anyone else's viewing activities.

Obsessive~compulsive bhvs have ruled my life. Now I want to see how life can rule me. It's hard to articulate that notion exactly, but that's it in a nutshell.

I live not so many hours from The Waitomo Caves. Glow worm city, I call it. Same goes for National Park : The Three Mountains or Maunganui : Tongariro, Ruapehu, oh hell...what's the other one? Just a sec, I'll Google it : NGARUAHOE, is the third. It's hard to pronounce so I think this is why I didn't remember it. It's also the youngest of the three mountains and Ruapehu is the oldest.
I want to visit these two historic sites before I leave. I've never been inside the caves since I was a young girl. National Park I've visited a few times but one more time would be good...
Had enough of living here in this town...

I might share some beautiful Maori folklore here on MJ. Yes...very soon. There are some Maori cultural traditions that I am not permitted to engage in. One of those is learning to speak Te Reo Maori (language) fluently, though I do know a few words and phrases.

(It's best I learn the native tongue of the Qechuan. Because that is my blood.)

Maori contemporary art, I can do. This I will share here too. What I've done.
Which isn't much...but it's something precious to me.

I'm tired. A sleeping pill (Netflix), a walk, shower, vacuuming, dinner, bed.

My prescription review/renewal w my doctor is overdue.

Oh happy news. The library is open again. As from today. Been closed since mid to late August, 2021. Time has flown in lockdown, dammit!!


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