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Opera and Anchovies by SynnicalSomebody
January 2022

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January 13, 2022

So I am going for another COVID test tomorrow morning… just to be sure. Apparently these rapid tests can report falsely for Omicron? That’s fun. Irked

I picked up my best friend and her family from the airport yesterday and they were all sick too. We all wore masks in the car just to be semi-safe. Then I got a text from my friend letting me know her nanny (who we were around on Saturday) just tested positive. UGH! Not that I blame the nanny at all… this shit is EVERYWHERE. Hell… it could have come from anywhere. The bottom line is we were all exposed somehow so we shall see tomorrow what they tell me. Another $69 for another rapid test. Well… it could be worse so we’ll see how this all turns out.

I wrote out all the details for dad so I could explain to him why I was isolating in the bedroom during the day. Poor guy… he’s so worried. I tried to explain to him that it’s just like a bad cold but that didn’t seem to assuage his fears. I get it… I’m a parent too… we worry about our kids… no matter what. It’s just part of being parents.

I’m exhausted.

I met with my psych today to talk a little bit more about what’s going on in my crazy brain and once again, she’s given me a lot to think about. We’re working on Mindfulness. She laughs at me (lovingly and supportively of course Very Happy ) because I always want to know if I’m doing it right. Like the other day… I was feeling anxious about something. So I sat and took a few deep breaths and let myself just feel whatever it was that I was feeling. I tried not to do anything or think anything… just feel whatever it was that I was feeling… and it seemed fine… and actually, my anxiety passed pretty quickly.

But did it?

Or have I just MASTERED repression so much that I’ve become so good at stuffing my feelings down and that’s what happened? Laughing

She laughed.
I laughed.

She said…. Right now I think it’s important that you just give yourself the freedom and the space to feel whatever you’re feeling. Let’s not worry about doing it right. Let’s just focus on creating that safe space for you to work through it. We’ll deal with the deeper stuff in time.

Fair enough… My GOD I’m such a dork! Laughing

I’m really exhausted. TC will be picking up dinner tonight so once he gets home and I can get dad fed, I’ll go back to bed and maybe watch some movies and sleep. I feel like I can kick this thing in the ass if I can just SLEEP. I’m exhausted.

My brain is exhausted.
My body is exhausted.
My heart is exhausted.

Yeah. I need sleep.
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