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Opera and Anchovies by SynnicalSomebody
July 2021

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July 21, 2021

So I’m trying to figure out a way to get dad out of the house more easily. His balance/stability is pretty compromised right now and it seems to be getting worse. So I can tell he’s pretty hesitant about going anywhere outside of his comfort zone. The thing is, we go places where he would do fine if he had a wheel chair type apparatus. Like… we live close to Lake Tahoe. Wouldn’t it be awesome to throw the wheelchair in the back of the car and take him up to the lake for the day. We can walk on the walking/bike paths there (they’re paved and flat) and he could get out and see something different and get some fresh air and enjoy the awesomeness that is Tahoe. I already know (or I think I know) what he’s going to say to a wheelchair but I’m trying to figure out a way I can propose the idea without saying “wheelchair.” They have some chairs that don’t really look like a hospital wheelchair. I need to do some research to see what I can find. I just think it would be great to be able to have him with us when we go places. He could probably even come up for the day when we go camping. If he had a chair that would help him get around…

Yeah… even as I type this… I can already see his face all wrinkled up in disgust… and I can hear him say “wheelchairs are for old people!” Laughing Dad… that’s YOU. YOU ARE OLD PEOPLE. Laughing

I don’t know… I suppose it won’t hurt to ask. I’ll do the research first to see if there’s workable option out there that he might be OK with… we shall see.

He’s so tired. As much as I love that he’s still here and relatively healthy… I know if I could hear what goes on in his head, he’s saying… “PLEASE, GOD… I’m ready…” Like I’ve said before… this is one of the reasons I feel so fortunate… yes, I’ll be sad when he does die. OF COURSE I will be sad. It’s going to be AWFUL. But what will make it a softer blow is that I KNOW he’s been ready. He’s said multiple times that he’s lived a life he’s satisfied with. He has nothing left unsaid. He has nothing left undone. He’s ready. Of course, I can’t imagine feeling that way… because I have so much more life I want to live… things to see and do… people to enjoy. But at almost 90… without my life partner… with my body failing… I’m sure I’d feel differently.

I just hope whatever we’re doing to make his life easier is what he needs. He never complains. He doesn’t ask for much, other than the occasional assistance with his hearing aid, the coffee maker, or making his bed. So the rest is pretty much a guessing game. I try to think of things he might enjoy… I REALLY think he’d enjoy a roll around the paths in Tahoe…

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