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PhuckityPhuck by nightshade
January 2021

Want to give up
January 12, 2021

I decided to change my life went into acting and theatre, which is semi-closed now, but still making money.Making a transition to film and want to quit. Tonight was a bad day. No matter what I do, I can never get a "good job", just a complaint about not being at the same level as others. It's hard to be around people with agents and reps. I dont have one cuz I'm not seeking one until I know I am good at it. I spent Quarantine in class after class. I'm not a quitter, but want to give up. this was a class with real casting directors and they say I didn't follow self-tape directions. I smile and hope during, but close to tears in frustration after.

I wish confiding with people wasn't so taboo. Sometimes I wish I can unload with someone on days like this. people who understand. I have had therapy in the past, but I guess my problems aren't problematic enough. they stopped returning my calls for appts. I wasn't inappropriate at all, only talked about my husband and stage problems. gave up on that, I mean if a therapist didn't call back, how much do I suck? I have a rule I call twice, if no return call I stop calling. Unless, covid got to them. Never inquired to find out other reasons.

I did ok in theatre, but films a bitch.
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