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Aging Disgracefully by ElleNewYorker
 
January 2021
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January 2021
December 2020

Here It Is
January 12, 2021

Those feelings of deep despair, sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, uncertainty, worry, and anxiety are creeping in again! Even my eyes are brimming with tears.

It's very annoying and feeling like this makes everything annoying. Living is annoying and worthless to me in this very moment. I regret everything. I hate everything.

I know I get like this now and then, but I can honestly say that for the past 4 or 5 years, it's gotten far worse. It doesn't last for long though, maybe a day or two, and then I'll move on and get a 2-week break, sometimes 3.

Maybe it comes with age and genetics. I sure know the majority of my mother's side is sad and miserable. Heh, that actually made me laugh. But, it sucks, and I feel like that Grouchy Smurf. Can't even drink this away anymore as alcohol now affects my GERD. Screw you, life.
 
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