September 15, 2020
today started out ok.. got my b12.. husband came too.. then we picked up the paper i needed to take to township from the closing.. which i dont' understand why i have to do it.. the title companies got quite a bit of money... but we did it.. had breakfast at a coney we like and then to the little grocery store for taco fixings for tonight..
while i was there the phone beeped.. it was the title company that we used.. they need a copy of my trust .. not a copy the orginal.. she said the women doing the closing missed getting it.. first off there was nothing that said i needed to give them my orginal.. i looked at the papers i had gotten before closing.. i told her that i don't want to give out my orginal trust papers.. i have a meeting with a investment place and i need them.. she said i had to .. and that she would give me some form that i can use.. it should take less than a week.. sure i bet.. yeah right.. it just pissed me off.. lately everything does.. i feel like i am put out every time i turn around.. this will take an hour to drive there and drive back..
talked to my brother.. he is a builder and he said he always gets a list of what is needed for closing.. i didn't get that.. this was just a cluster fuck
he went on to say his wife's sister.. she had breast cancer that had spread to her brain.. has an incredible headache.. and is in hospital and has been for a couple of weeks.. they are doing a spinal.. and if cancer is in the fluid.. she has less than 6 weeks... she is 54.. i know it is hard on my sister in law.. i know she worries..
my brother and i talked about the cementary .. mom and dads grave.. he is going over there to fix it up.. put stones around it so the grave people don't weed whack the head stone.. i never go over there.. i think about mom almost every day .. i miss her so ... and it brings such emotions when i go there.. the pain of missing her and the anger i had with my dad..
we talked about when mom was dying and he and i would go spend several hours with her.. we made sure we didn't go up at the same time so she had someone there.. we thought dad was too but found out he was just staying 10 mins.. most of the time when mom was not in the hospital and had the chemo pack .. i would stop by and so did my brother only to find her alone.. i would get so freakin angry at my dad.. i told him over and over to call me..i will sit with her.. brother said the same thing
brother said he can't understand why dad was like that.. he would never do that to his wife .. she is so sick after chemo.. and he is always there... I told him that he is thinking like a man who loves his wife.. dad was not like that.. everyone was more important than us.. mom me and my brother..
we both agreed that we would never do to our children what dad did to us.. how he talked to us.. i said no one understands but us.. how hard it was with dad.. my husgand does too.. dad was a bully .. and both my brother and i are strong enough today we would have done things different..
it just felt good to talk.. i didnt' get the anger at dad.. but the pain of loosing mom at 71 was still there..
i know he worries about his wife.. i hope she has at least a good 5 years.. i don't know..
at the grocery store.. the bagger was a young kid.. and i said to him and laughed he looked like he didnt' get enough sleep and did he have a good time last night.. "sigh" he goes on to laugh and say he was at the college with his buddies parting last night.. wth.. this is why the virus is not undercontrol.. there was a party the other day .. police stopped and the kid told them we all tested positive so what is the big deal... wth
i just want to stay home
i did empty my garden pots.. kept the sweet peppers i still have some there.. and some of the flowers still look good..
and one credit card has $600 in casxh back.. that is our christmas fund.. tomrrow i want to add it all up and see excatly how much we have each..
then i talked to ups .. he is so nice.. i told him i am trying to get all ordered before the snow flies.. he was glad LOL so i went in and ordered my daughter flannel sheets.. a honey backed ham and some soup packages for husband.. some of his fav candy .. and some other small stuff.. i was shopp9ing so much that the credit card was declined so i used another one.. and called them.. i knew it was because i was shopping alot in a short time.. and it was..
this will be the first time daughter and i don't go shopping in december.. i am really bummed over that..