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My journey of finding myself by Wilddflowerr90
March 2020

My ah ha moment!
March 28, 2020

I always say "I can give great advice but cannot take it". Well in this case I think life and all it's lessons has found a way to prove me wrong.. Today while talking on the phone with my friend T, I found myself giving her some sound advice. I told her how I noticed the things that I was lacking within myself were also the things I was looking for in others. So the entire time I have been trying to find someone to complete me when really I just needed to complete myself. I also found myself listening, which doesn't happen..ever. Nonetheless I really do believe I needed to hear this.. you see for so long I forgot who I was. I forgot what I had to offer this world.. I let so many people extinguish my fire cause I burned far brighter than they would ever Illuminate. This made me appear intimidating and not many felt like they could match my flame.. So I kinda died down for a bit because I'm a people pleaser, I try not to go against the grain because I learned a long time ago If you just go with the flow things run smoother instead of always challenging the norm.. just follow suit. Now I'm kinda kicking myself for doing so.. You see when i let them kill my flame I let them have control over me, I let them kill my most genuine and realest parts of myself. I let them kill my spirit and poison my soul. I was always to timid and scared to stand up for myself and my beliefs because I would be challenging others and I'm not normally a confrontational person. I'm here to tell you now.. Those were some of the most toxic things I could have ever done to myself.. Today in the year 2020 that all has changed. I have now started a journey of self healing and I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense but as I'm writing and just wanting to share my experience with you the words and thoughts are pouring out of me and I have to put them down. This to me is pure gold these moments in life the little lessons it's teaching you, are very valuable it all depends on how you listen.
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