|Truly Tired On Thursday...|
June 10, 2021
... for the last 10 days straight I've been dealing with a manageable part of the pain of trauma. Today, this morning, I finally gave myself up completely to the process and surrendered. It felt so good to reach this place that I thought I'd never get to. The difference is so very tangible on the inside of me. I feel so light. I felt so readily vulnerable in a way that I struggled to cope with. Had five decent tokes on a joint.
That's two times this year and once November last year. Weed for this alcoholic (& I can only talk for myself here,) is nothing more than solid alcohol. Four times this year, it's been a struggle to say no to marijuana. Two of those times, I didn't. Today was the second time this year. I still haven't had a drink... until now.
FUCK IT... I'm buying. Wanted to go to a meeting tonight... meetings have really fallen off...fuck this is slightly messy. Why is recovery never straightforward...sorry.
Login to select
your favorite journals
◇Don't Quote Me◇closed◇Eyes Of A Lexicon♡Life's A Script♡closed♡Opensource2♡The Unwritten♡closed♡