Today is June 12, 2021
Join Now! | Home | Sign in | FAQ | Help
Total Exertion. by Amanda22Jane
June 2021

June 2021
May 2021
March 2021
February 2021
January 2021
December 2020
November 2020
October 2020
September 2020
August 2020
January 2020
October 2019
September 2019
July 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019

Truly Tired On Thursday...
June 10, 2021

... for the last 10 days straight I've been dealing with a manageable part of the pain of trauma. Today, this morning, I finally gave myself up completely to the process and surrendered. It felt so good to reach this place that I thought I'd never get to. The difference is so very tangible on the inside of me. I feel so light. I felt so readily vulnerable in a way that I struggled to cope with. Had five decent tokes on a joint.
That's two times this year and once November last year. Weed for this alcoholic (& I can only talk for myself here,) is nothing more than solid alcohol. Four times this year, it's been a struggle to say no to marijuana. Two of those times, I didn't. Today was the second time this year. I still haven't had a drink... until now.

FUCK IT... I'm buying. Wanted to go to a meeting tonight... meetings have really fallen off...fuck this is slightly messy. Why is recovery never straightforward...sorry.
Login to select
your favorite journals

◇Don't Quote Me◇closed◇Eyes Of A Lexicon♡Life's A Script♡closed♡Opensource2♡The Unwritten♡closed♡

© Website Copyright 2021 by
© Journal Content Copyright 2021 by the Author
Terms of Service Agreement
Privacy Policy