October 17, 2020
Well I did it!
"The Marathon" has been a gruelling journey this afternoon. I made a breakthrough so that made it all worth it. I haven't walked for a week from today. And this was the circuit that I walked last Saturday.
I wasn't even halfway there before the pain in my thighs was so bad I was hobbling along. I just broke down and sobbed and I didn't give a fuck who could see or hear me. I cried out: I just can't do this anymore! And I sobbed and sobbed. I literally turned myself around and couldn't walk home the way I had come. A few cars passed me in the opposite direction that I was heading and kept moving thank goodness. There was a farmhouse nearby but I don't think anyone noticed. (Thank goodness again.)
So on I went and I kept praying for help to make it halfway. Not only did I make it halfway but I finished it and only stopped twice more. Once by a farm gate and once at the nearest dairy shop (back in town), where I sat down for a moment. Was hard work and it's very, very worth doing over and over and over again.
It's a triumphant feeling to have breakthroughs. I sobbed and wept for the first time over my health issues without one skerrick of self~pity.
The weather was just beautiful and a perfect time at 16:30 p.m. to be walking.
After I crossed the halfway mark, the pain in my thighs had changed and dulled. I think what happened today is a really good lesson to keep to a regular schedule of alternate days. Walking once a week is really dangerous because my body has gone too long without exercise.
The thing is I had to sacrifice my walking schedule to work on the Seniors' Lounge project.
After my walk tonight, I completed the second~to~last chore and now there is just one corner left where the recycling bins are to deal with.
Then that will be Phase 2 completed.
My eating is okay. Nothing extreme. No starving and overeating this last week. Another journal here has inspired me to slow down when eating and chew longer. That's mindful eating. I'm tasting my food more too and not always eating until I'm full.
Life is improving. Still got a long way to journey to. And when I get there, I need to keep moving forward and working my program.
I definitely passed the 'Warm Up' phase. Next week I introduce floor exercises to make this body gradually become used to daily exercise.
I'm not happy with the way I have treated my body and my attitudes towards my physical appearance are gradually changing as well. A holistic approach is wisest and the best road to go down. It always has been.
Shower time, then dinner. 20:05. Back tomorrow.
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