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February 2020

What do you do when the only love you have left is for your son
February 8, 2020

So a lot has happened I'm single plan on staying that way there was nothing wrong with him but I felt I'd lost the feeling of love I didn't love him I had no emotion towards him period wasn't his fault but damn did that make me feel like shit what do I do now do I string him along no what if I ruin his chances of finding his soulmate that is just bad juju but how do you tell a man in love with you you that you have no love not that he's a bad guy you don't hate him but you have just been so messed up over and over and over that now you feel you've lost the ability to love in its entirety that the only person to spark any emotion from you is your son who is growing so fast people are thinking he is twice his age already ugh stop growing my child but I sat him down and we talked and broke up in October which is kind of ironic to me cause once again I spent the holidays single but I've stayed single and I'm losing weight and he and I remain friends and I plan to move on the 31st of next month I can't wait going to be a fresh start just me and bat baby already started talking to programs he can enroll in so I can go to work part time while he stays active he's excited about the basketball and karate more than the ones directed towards learning but that is expected though I have a feeling once he's involved he will enjoy them equally the best part is I will be going back to school in August all this though means the spirits are making it so I will be to busy for relationships and honestly I feel like I'm at this point in my life where I've given up completely on them I mean what for all they do is cause stress and tears fights and heartache and at the end of it you are more damaged than when you started well I'm done I have no more love for anyone anyways so why bother now I talk to people but only 2 friends see me in real life and even they only come around once in a blue moon which is great means I've been super focused on everything I need to do to where now I've got almost 2 months to find a back up driver in case my friend doesn't get her jeep but I will admit though feels like it's going to be some super lonely years ahead
It's whatever it is
by Vampyra
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