Happiness is a Butterfly by Marchen
 
January 2019
21Softly does it
27If happiness is a choice, I need to choose it
If happiness is a choice, I need to choose it
January 27, 2019

Town life has never had an appeal. As I sit in the shade of an umbrella, I realise the echoes around me are all man-made. There is no personal space nor resonances of nature. It's time to move on. The coast is calling. I smile inwardly. I am becoming a nomad. Happiness is elusive and although I believe I can make myself happy, I feel I am lacking the necessary tools – meaning and deep satisfaction.

Jérémie is hovering in the vicinity. We have become friends and although he keeps his subservient demeanour, our conversations are starting to have a depth that makes being in his company relief from the boredom that is slowly creeping into my life here.

"Are you happy here Em? Am I allowed to ask that?" Concern ripples through his question. I smile as I join him on the edge of the pool. He stands up hastily and moves the umbrella closer, so I am shielded from the rays of sunlight. He sits next to me, our toes drifting in the cool blue water.

l look into the depths, the tiles contorted into wavy lines as the pool cleaner noisily chugs around, devouring the dirt like an overgrown slug.

"Not really." I give it more thought. "I want to escape into solitude where I can feel myself thinking. I am probably going to move on when I find my niche." I turn and look at Jérémie. "Are you happy?"

His smile is enigmatic. His gaze skims the ragged skyline. "I feel stuck here. I can't be myself." He gives a short burst of laughter. "Basically, yes I suppose. Maybe I don't know who I am yet."

"I think some fun is the perfect prescription. Do you accept a challenge?" Mischief creeps into my voice. He smiles and nods little apprehensively.
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