January 12, 2022
I got upset this morning, to the point of ugly crying, before I realized that my mental nerves were frayed. Things around us are in the air, falling in every direction, and we've become lost in the chaos.
Tracy's dad is still not home. He's supposed to be on a sodium-restricted diet and limit his water intake due to his diagnosis, but the nursing/rehab place he went to refused to do that because it wasn't on some paper. So Tracy's mom sounds like she's at her limit trying to get this information across. If they don't limit the sodium and water, my father-in-law will be back in the hospital again. We just want this vicious cycle to end and for him to be home... at least for a bit.
If that wasn't enough, the covid cases in our area have spiked. There are some cases among the vaccinated as well, which worries me, but luckily they are not as bad as the unvaccinated cases. I fear that someday, we'll get a new variant that will be worse than the others... that life will never find a new "normal" that doesn't include daily news of this pandemic.
And if that wasn't enough, I am feeling overwhelmed with wanting to do a lot of things but not knowing "how" or where to start. The overwhelmed feeling might be related to the above, but my frustration doesn't seem to know this.
I want some sort of normalcy in our home. Things that will center us emotionally and/or things that we could do regularly (as close to every day as we can) to help us stay balanced. I want hugs and conversations. I want to get lost in a movie, show, or music and not think about the outside world. I want to do chores and make this place presentable, even if no one will ever visit (or at least it feels like we'll never have company). I want... a lot more than what I'm currently doing/getting.
Anyway, life goes on. I hope you're surviving as well (or at least doing better than before).