October 2, 2020
Today I found myself masterbating in the bathroom. Both the cats were sleeping in my bed and I was not about to risk them sniffing up the wrong alley. and what I really wanted was to place the suction cup on my dildo on the ledge of my bath tub. and that's part of what I did. However the angle was weird and it just wasn't working. So I ended up fucking myself standing up. After I came from penetration it was time for my wand to come and make me cum from clitoral stimulation. I pulled my tits out of my small white tank and whispered to myself " you're so hot" and instantly had an amazing orgasm. I hadn't came like that by myself in a few weeks if not longer. It felt so good.
But it also seems boredorline narcissistic. This isn't the first time I have done something like that. Sometimes I get off of watching the videos of myself getting off. It's weird, but I also feel that it isn't far out from what a healthy person would do.
I know sometimes I have insecurities about my appearance. I mean who doesn't? So it's amazing that I can get off to myself and I like that. Maybe soon I'll grow to accept myself. It there a difference between loving oneself and then accepting who they are? Probably not. Maybe, but not in my case.