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Emotional Mess by carol15
July 2020

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July 14, 2020

I've put off taking my CPA exams for a year. The clock has started to tick. At most I have a year left before I start working full time, and I want to knock these exams out while I am still a student. Or at least knock out most of them. I applied to take the first part 2 months ago but have yet to get approved (COVID has slowed things down, and I had to send a few of my transcripts via mail). I decided that yesterday would be day 1 of 5 days a week studying 3 hours a day. I maybe studied for an hour and a half. Today, I keep trying to sit my ass down to study and have been unsuccessful. I do not know how ppl get motivated to sit down for hours on end and study for this exam. Maybe I should make a list of reasons I want to be a CPA.

Reasons I want to be a CPA:
I. Do. Not. Know.

What am I even doing anyway? I'm in my last year of grad school. I have a job offer that will begin in September of next year ( trying to push up my start date to Jan 2021). I feel no actual need to become a CPA anymore. I mean before it was because I wanted to get ahead, and yes the 3 letters would somehow make people trust me more/ give me more opportunity. But I can pave the way for opportunity without it. Maybe I should think about the $5k bonus I would get for passing all 4 parts. but at least 2k of that would have been invested in the exams ( The firm I work for paid for study material YAY) . so 3k about for stress and hours on end of study time... In the long run I feel like it will be worth it. I think I will forever have the need to become a CPA over my head.

As I continue doing some assessment quizzes I can already tell that there are things I knew a year ago that I no longer know because I took 6 months off from school to do an internship. So the sooner I do this the better.

I just need to dig deep and find out why the actual fuck I am doing this to myself. To prove ppl wrong? TO show I can be someone? Because it's a challenge and I accepted it? That last question got me slightly excited haha. I like challenges.

Anyway, I need to at least do an hour. so goodnight
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