|Keeping my legs closed... for now.|
October 28, 2019
I've gone 3 months without sex... Well not including the female I had sex with in early September. Regardless, it's been the longest I've gone without dick in about 2.5 years. I think the longest before had been 6 weeks to 2 months.
Anyway, today I took a nap, and in my dream I was snap chatting with this dude. In my dream he was in a relationship ( in real life he is single and available to me). He told me that I was tempting even though he was with somebody. That made me feel frisky and I decided I was going to take off my t-shirt and send him a semi seductive snap of me topless covered by my blanket but clearly naked and showing cleavage... I was getting aroused... I hadn't even taken the photo when I woke up. I was so mad!!! It wasn't even a sex dream and I was so frustrated that I couldn't see it played out.
UGH I WANT DICK... and I'm the only person stopping myself from what I want.
I know that right now isn't the best time for me to agree to have a sexual encounter with someone. I'm still hurting from the guy who told me what I wanted to hear and then decided I wasn't worth it. I still miss him and he is still the first person that comes to mind when I think that I want to fuck someone.
I have other options. Good options, but also casual options and I want to feel taken care of and loved.
Just because I want something does not make it good for me. Does not mean I should have it.