October 17, 2019
I went to counseling today...
I hadn't been since February. I saw someone new, and he was nice. He had me redo an assessment I hadn't done in over a year. According to that assessment the points in depression, anxiety, the anxiety towards failing my classes all spiked up. Whereas my social anxiety and body image issues went drastically down.
I'm not sure exactly what that means. He said he would go over it with me next week. I assume it's not the best thing though. Even though it's awesome that my social anxiety and body image issues went down... I have been working out and have been become a lot more social.. well in comparison to being locked in my room night after night.
After chatting with him for a little, he said it seemed like something was missing and I agree with him. However, who doesn't have something missing from their life... He said he wants to help me find out what it is that's missing... It makes me wonder if we can figure it out...
I lost myself in school that past few years.. idk who I am anymore. I know things about myself that make up who I am.. but a lot of things are changing that I don't know what to do with myself.
I want to succeed and to succeed I must work, but I have yet to put in the effort into an exam I need to take... but I also don't need that exam to succeed and I'm blabbering.
I've had panic attacks lately..
I'm not focused right now, IDK where I was going with this post.. or this sentence.. ugh
What am I even doing...
I want dick
but I also want to be held
I would be ecstatic with both.
On a high note, I found out today that I received a scholarship!!
okay I'm done for tonight.