|just hurting for no reason|
September 14, 2019
Sometimes even when everything it's going my way, I want to sit down and cry. I want to stay in my bed and do nothing but cry. I feel so alone. I know I'm not. I know people care about me, I know that if I call someone and tell them I'm sad they will be there for me.
Regardless of what I know, that is not how I feel. I KNOW I could call a friend up, but I FEEL that I'm being dramatic and that I shouldn't be crying and that there is no point in bothering someone else when the only thing wrong is I'm a little sad. I just want to be held. but there is no one to hold me.
I want to never let myself fall for someone again. I push people away because Idk how to open up without losing myself in that person. I find I am sad right now. Even after doing a slow jog for 7 min straight today..
There is a chance I'm just getting sick and so I feel exhausted, guess I should take some over the counter meds to feel better and move on with my life.
I really need to go study for my 10 ch aud exam. 10 freaking chapters! grad school is no joke.
tomorrow will be better.