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Emotional Mess by carol15
June 2017

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i'm so lonely
June 4, 2017

i'm hurting so much
i not longer know what to do
i scare myself
i won't so anything but the thoughts
the thoughts are so dark
i need help i just don't know where to look
i don't want to be a burden
i just want to die
things that make me happy no longer seem to bring the joy they used to
but i can't do that
i couldn't hurt myself like that
i'm an attention whore so maybe this is just me wanting attention..
I keep thinking there is something wrong with me, everything is wrong with me
Who the fuck am i
The facts say i am going to be someone, the facts say i am smart, i am ambitious, i will succeed
but my mind, my mind is twisted.

I stand out in the open
looking down, i realize i am on a cliff
the sky is dark, the stars bright
the moon nowhere in sight
it's a chilly night.
i sit down on the edge of the cliff with my legs hanging down
knowing that if i fall there is a chance of death
but there is also a chance of life with consequences
Do i let myself fall, do i risk life?
Or do i go home and let the torture of failure haunt my dreams?
The pain is there in my bed, it's in my bathroom,
my failure follows me....
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