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Regaining my self respect and dignity by rik
March 2020

April 2020
March 2020
July 2015

Covid virus
March 28, 2020

Hello again, It's been a really long time since I've written something in here. I actually have no plans to write but to just read the journal of someone that I used to follow. Well sad to say his last entry was January of 2016 and in it he said goodbye coz he was diagnosed with liver cancer and he only have few months to live... How sad! I will say a prayer for him after this.

He finally quit drinking for over a year I guess his liver was not able to recover from all the abuse. This past year I developed a liking to liquor which I used to hate before, I'm not really fussy I can drink a small bottle of cheap vodka but my favourite is a tall glass of Gin and Tonic. I would like to think that I'm not an alcoholic.
Let me explain there are nights during dinner that I have a glass of g and t or a wine but never to a point that I was out of control. I do like the feeling of slightly inebriated. Most of the nights I hardly drink at all and I'm not really craving it.
Anyways back to the present. My last working day was 12 days ago and then London was on lockdown maybe a week ago. I only went out maybe three times to buy our groceries other than I stayed at home. I cleaned my room and try to keep it tidy, earlier this morning I tidied the pantry and did my exercise. mostly pilates and my day was not wasted at all.

Sad to say after all these years I'm still addicted to porn, masturbation and casual sex ( well before the covid came out ) so in a way this new Coronavirus is a blessing and a reset for me, not to have random sex with strangers.
so it was over a month ago that I have sex with a random guy in the gym and in a sauna.

Inspite of all this tragedy that's happening all over the world, I'm grateful, that we still have food to eat, that I can stop worrying though I'm not earning because I save up money for this unexpected event. Most of all grateful for my health and my love ones. praying that we will continue to be healthy...

These past few days I went back to my passion which is to draw and to color art works, it was something that I think that I'm good at.

I'm not making promises but I hope I can do this regularly. stay safe!!
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