July 15, 2015
For the past three weeks I'd been frequenting gay saunas, it doesn't matter where I am I seem to gravitate to that place. in fact 3 weeks ago I spent the whole entire day in a Pleasuredome a gay sauna in Waterloo and had sex with 3 or so strangers. What a complete waste of time, of course I just realized this when all was said and done... but today, when the craving was really, really strong I was able to walk away. The temptation to go back to sauna was so strong even when I'm working out in the gym, it's all I think about.
While on the bus on the way home I still want to get off and visit the place, I guess because I just used to easily give in before my brain was so hard wired, but thanks God I didn't. So no walk of shame for me today. I just keep thinking and praying " You're grace is sufficient for me, you're strength is made perfect when I'm weak"
I am making steps for recovery. I can't take back what happened before, I wasted so many years on my addiction but I am making steps and I think I'm on the right track. I asked my friend to be accountable for me, and i'm glad he agreed.
I don't expect this to be easy, infact I know I may stumble but I just have to pick myself and continue.