It was a tough week, in fact it has been a tough couple of months. I have been trying to find balance between the hell fire of rubbing someone I love very dearly the wrong way - inadvertently, and finding out how to introduce a pleasant atmosphere so there can be peace; and I can reduce the severe stress I've been under. The person I am speaking of is my 24 year old daughter. I guess she's been angry since she was born. Oh I'm not joking! I have a very vivid and permenant mental image of when the nurses that delivered her, placing her briefly on my tummy . . .
I looked at her . . .
She looked at me.... and gave me a filthy look!
Seriously! She's been in a bad mood her whole life - well, so far anyways.... in between bouts of loud yelling matches; we have had some peace. We have managed that because I determined it would be to our great advantage, so I spend my time finding ways to listen, understand, and acknowledge her conversations with me in the most realistic way I can.
I do NOT invalidate her words. Not on any level. If there is an issue where she is obviously not quite in the zone of ''right'', I let it go; and find other ways of dealing with the pain of being forced into a corner in this fashion.
The good thing here is that I am so proud of her; I am so darned proud of her and her fiesty no nonsense attitude! I love how she attacks what she wants out of life and goes for it in any way she can!
I love her beauty. She has natural and wonderful talents which are currently being enriched by the course she is taking . . . . she also took a Uni course for 12 months and got distinctions and very high commendations.
I love that she's conscious of the needs of others; even if she cannot acknowledge it; and I love that she shows she has a conscience by throwing hissy fits and if you dig ever so slightly, you find out she's feeling guilty for not having done something she felt she should have...
Oh yes - I love; love; love my daughter - I love her with respect; with a mother's love, and with the admiration of someone who can stand back, and see what she is making of her life under extra difficult circumstances; her inner rage. One day I hope she finds out what that's about. But that will be for her to discover. In the meantime; we weather the storms, and ride the wave of life together...