March 14, 2019
Life is still plugging along. I am still working at West Virginia Department of Health & Human Resources for however long it lasts. Still wanting the situation to change with L but I am firmly in the friendzone - don't foresee that ever changing so I am growing reacquainted with permanent bachelorhood again. I applied for another form of state healthcare because of my various issues, ranging from diabetes to depression, sleep apnea to asthma. Hopefully, it goes through so I can have the spot of skin cancer removed from my left ear soon.
I am still living with my dad, taking care of him and the house as well as I can. Other than going brainless watching Netflix, my only other regular form of entertainment is running a Dungeons & Dragons game for L and a few other people. Unfortunately, I fear that will be going tits up again in the near future. One player is going to be leaving for a few months and is going to try to teleplay with us via Skype. Beyond the uncertainty, there is a personality conflict starting to rise up in the game between L and one of the young guys, who quite honestly is a self-entitled millennial that demands accommodations for him but doesn't want to give any to anyone else. Additionally, he demands respect when unwilling to give any himself. In other words, he is in many ways a little pissant a good part of the time. Anyways, it will likely boil over in the near future and I am not sure that I will be up to resurrecting it again. I may just let it die and find myself a game to play in rather than all the drama of being a DM.
It's been a productive day at work, processing nearly $60K worth of school clothing vouchers. I still have an hour to go and could make it a really kick-ass day...but it's not like any extra effort on part would amount to any sort of pecunial reward or any offer of permanent employment at a better rate. I will likely plod along until 4 pm and save any residual energy for my projects if I am inclined to work on them.
I must admit that is a very mercenary attitude towards my employment. My loyalty, dedication and exertion of my talents is directly proportional to my rate of pay. Yet, as cynical it appears, it certainly makes sense. Especially in "right to work states", there are few employers that show loyalty, fairness, and concern for their employees today. They use them and toss them aside when they no longer serve their purpose. I mean... look at the department that deals with their pay and needs...human resources. Talk about dehumanizing. It lowers people to the level of tools of production as if they were no better than raw materials or some machine.
Well, I have no energy to waste on even more a rant. All I have to say is that I could really go for a piece of pie.