January 11, 2021
What an insane time, I think that years from now my girls will talk about this era the way I do about 9/11. Not comparing events but just meaning historically speaking and how much 9/11 affected me personally.
The anniversary of my mother's death was somewhat overshadowed by the events on the 6th. I am thinking of my mom so much this past week. Well, truth be told I think about her all the time, but not with the ache that I felt previously.
I have a dear friend, I have written about her here before. She has cancer and has been in treatment for over a year. She was recently hospitalized for what the doctors thought was a blockage in her small intestine. It turns out that her abdomen is riddled with tumors and there is really nothing more anyone can do. She said that her doctor gave her a few months more to live, that is it.
This is where I think F cancer and F covid too. I cannot even go see my dear friend and hug her, bring her flowers, sit with her and play a card game or just enjoy each other's company.
Her husband must be out of his mind. She has a daughter the same age as my girls, I can only imagine what she might be feeling. I want to call the husband, we are friends as well, and just let him know what is going to come. He may think he has an idea, but he has NO idea. I also want to offer to help in any way I can. Taking care of my mother all those months, I feel like I could to almost anything needed. Bodily function and illness does not bother me at all.
I feel like people have a misconception about what it means to have "palliative" or "hospice" care. At least in my state it means you have a nurse come once a week and a CNA come to bathe the patient once a week... that's it. So with my mom, it was just me 24/7 until my sister came in November 2019. There is a lot. A lot to deal with taking care of physical needs but also a lot to deal with the emotional part of it. I am going to offer my assistance. I know my friend is terribly private, but I think that is over now. They are going to need help, and I can available and capable. We shall see what they say.
Apart from all of that, I cannot believe that I will lose my friend. I never think about age, but she is about 14 years older than I am, but I just really hardly ever notice it. She is kind, thoughtful, sweet, generous, my girls love her. This just really stinks.
I really and truly hope they allow me to help them.