October 7, 2020
It has been nine months since my mother passed away. It feels like forever ago and yet only a few days ago too. I have likely said that before and will say it again.
Some days I ache with missing her, makes me feel like a small child how I can cry for her.
Last Friday I had some small procedure at the doctor's office, but by Friday night I was in so much pain I cried and cried wanting my mama so badly it was almost pitiful.
I am not feeling right most of the time. I am having a really difficult time over all and really struggling with putting on the happy face all the time.
I suppose that is true depression. My house is a mess, my self is a mess, I am just holding on and waiting for these bad waves to pass.
Ultimately I do have faith that someday (hopefully soon) I will feel better. I will smile with more natural ease, I will sing whole heartedly, I will come back to life.
For now today I have forced myself to do some laundry and go to the grocery store. I might even get up the gumption to take a shower later.