January 13, 2022
thank god my bank account gets 1200 bux every two weeks cause i'd get insane lol... no wait i did before when i got a mere 1600 a month. lol.
seriously july 5th 2021 was a great day for me when i was told i was full time, that 400 dollar difference a pay makes my life so much easier. trust me, though i wouldn't be able to float my family if i was the only one working. that is a scary thought.
yet when mike and i started dating he made less than i make now and he could carry us. inflation sucks big fat donkey balls.
I am hoping more than anything this year is the year we buy our house! (if we had the money in savings we have when we had julia we coulda paid off half a decent house! now it's barely a down payment that hurts.)
I just read a quote that I love, albert einstien, he always says the right thing.
if you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not people or things.
wow. mind blown.
....i'll be happier when.
i get a house,
i make more money
i get that new phone etc etc etc etc....
ok i'll be happier when I don't know ... but i feel like I will feel more settled when the house we live in is ours and no one elses.
here is a thought. .. what happens when i've reached all my goals -
i graduated college, now six years ago.
i make more money and have my dream job.
what next ?
we're married, i had a kid (even when being a mom wasn't the plan, i love it!)
side note: julia's hair was like one big dread lock. i don't get the texture of her hair, it's like glue and annoying as fuck.
so i started this entry at 8:15 this morning, it's currently 3:30pm and i'm done work for the day and I got super side tracked with everything i did today. i'm tired!
....I hate these days that I'm so horny I can't function....especially because I really don't actually want sex.
It drives me bonkers
I want love and affection not sex...I'm good with no sex. I don't know how he feels he never talks about it...
It's been over two years.
So. Ya... who knows...