|The End Of The Story|
October 8, 2020
Why am I am I putting this story out here ?
When He was at the hospital near death a few times. He was asked by doctors and nurses. "Is there anyone we can contact, family a friend maybe?"
He answered; "No, no one. I have no one."
"No one?" The nurses asked.
"I told you I don't have no one!"
His own son wouldn't have anything to do with him. Never came by to check on him even when he was sick all those years. His ex wife rarely spoke to him. But on occasions.
Of course it has always weighed heavy on my mind for years about how he fell in love with me. How he told me "But I was going to ask you to marry me, I wanted YOU to be my wife." The emphases on YOU stood out loud and clear. And for years he has always reminded me but added that he would never dare come between me and another. And for so many years that passed by, he stood back in the shadows of my life.
I would get flowers on my Birthday from him. Phone calls to my mother asking how I was doing. My own mother felt so sorry for him. Knowing this guys in love with her daughter that is in love and living with someone else. Did I feel guilty deep inside about what he was going through. Well I wouldn't say I felt guilty. But I felt bad that he fell in love with me as he did. I didn't feel the same feelings he did for me back in the day. And he just never let me go.
For years he tried to forget me. He even met another girl in California. He told my mother about her. But after a year of not hearing from him my mother received a phone call one evening. Telling her it didn't work out. She took him for all the money he had and left him. He told my mother it was his last hope that he had to try and fall in love with someone else. But he told my mother that no one ever came close to me.
Sad feelings always resided inside of me when I would hear things like that-that he said. The truth was, he never fell out of love with me. He was so fourth coming when saying that 'I was suppose to be his wife!' He even told me that not long ago. But added that he just wanted me to know how he felt about me still. But regressed and said that he knew things between us would never be. Because he knew I was with someone else.
He fought with the idea of even calling me. 'I don't like calling you behind Vics back. He said. I told him Vic already knew. That it was perfectly okay with us talking. I mean Vic talks to his old friends too.
As the story goes along here. He became very ill and for years going to dialysis 3 times a week. He told me the most horrible stories about what he had to go through. The agony and the pain and some of the nurses would always miss hitting his veins.
About 2 years ago his calls became less and so I would call on him. He was depressed and he sounded bad at times. But before the calls ended I always made him laugh.
The calls always ended good. Except that night I got that one call. "I am tired, he said. I have decided to just let nature take its course. I have made my mind up to end this pain and agony, I just can't go on living this way so I am not going to dialyses anymore. I just wanted to call and say good-bye."
I can't describe the feeling that ran over me after hearing him tell me that. I recall trying to end the call on a positive note. And I called him every two days. I kept him talking about good memories in his life. I was part of them. How we all used to play frisbee in the court yard.
The time I thought I could run track like in school and fell out because I smoked. And not to forget to mention at the beach when the tide rolled out so did the bottoms of my bathing suit. And so goes our memories as they continue to go on living through only me now.
I recall being angry at him and I didn't call one week. And finally he called me and told me that he guessed it was meant for him to live for some reason. He said. So he decided to go back on dialyses. Whew ! Thank God ! As I dreaded the day that I would pick up the phone and call him hearing that eerie message;
"The number you have called has been changed, disconnected or no longer in service..."
And that is exactly the recording I heard on the phone the day I called to wish him Happy Birthday October 7th as I promised him I would !
Last time I heard from him was September 8th 2020 calling me to wish ME a Happy Birthday! We spoke for 20 minutes and I recall the phone call being kind of strange. His voice sounded kind of deep and different. And he told me he wasn't really feeling well.
After a welfare check after not showing up Wednesday or Friday for his appointments. They found him September 13th 2020 in his home. His son told me that he had been there for a while.
R.I.P. now I.J.K.